I don't even know.

    All I want to do is cry. Who I was before, I feel like my life was so much better when I was that person. I feel like I totally fucked up my life. Like I trusted the wrong people entirely. When I need someone the most they're never there for me. I really just wish I had people that aren't family that cared. But I don't, And I never will. Because i'm not that person. I'm not the person that gets everything they want in life. I'm not even the person who if works hard gets some of what she wants. I needed them, and all they did was take her side. Well I guess that's not completely fair. There was a person who didn't care what she said or what I said he took his own side. I truly respect him for that. I couldn't have asked for a better thing than that. It gave me a small sliver of hope. That was kind of just crushed all over again when I realized none of it really matters. I feel like nothing really matters anymore. Like no matter what I do no one's going to ever care. I'm the person no one cares about. The person who lives life the best she can knowing she'll never be good at it. I can't stand the fact that I thought those people actually cared. I was a fool. That has been made adamantly clear. I came into the party late. I'll always be the person nobody wants there, that they just deal with. I'm going to stop wallowing in a pity party. It's not healthy. Well at least i'm going to try.